Saturday, March 11, 2006

Flirting-shirting, Hai Rabba!!

For a country which gave the world the Kamasutra & where population-control is a problem... we sure as hell suck at flirting! I mean seriously what is wrong with us Indians? Those smooth-talking, suave knock-you-off-your-feet Sean Connery kind of guys are never-ever found... and an even more scarce is the species of the classy and articulate, sassy and dressed to kill bombshells.

I mean nobody really expects a James Bond to bump into you everytime you go out for a party or just a night out at the local pub. But once in a while it sure as hell would be nice to meet (depending of course on your sex & your *ahem* preferences) a girl who doesnt use palmistry as a pretext for holding hands, and a guy who doesnt claim to have met you before.

Make no mistake, I've met some girls who are quite good at flirting casually. But they usually dont know what to do when this little game goes on for a while. It's like somehow as soon as the bar is raised a little, they become defensive and push you off.

Guys have of course entirely different problems. Rather than becoming defensive, they move in far too quickly... scaring off the already timid girl. All in all it makes for a nation of absolutely gawky flirters!

So, waht if we are bad-flirters naturally. We can always learn, right? Wrong.

Think of the "Mujhse dosti karoge"-types who come up & mouth "Do you want to make phrendsip (friendship) with me?" - complete of course with the vertical outstretched handshake as popularised by Hrithik Roshan in Kaho Na Pyar Hai. And then of course there are these more sweet than sugar girls, who chat online to find their dream-lover! Think... flirty chatting sessions & the background romantic song playing, as the girl tosses and tumbles in her bed while hugging a pillow!

Arghhh! Thank you Karan Johar and your army of cocksuckers for presenting such corny stereotypes as rolemodels for flirting to this already sorry country.

See, flirting is an art. You have to be a confident, articulate... and well one hell of a tease to be a good flirt. The word "tease" of course is something that is alien to us... unless of course you add an "eve" before it. Come to think of it... even then it's pretty unheard of - atleast in the common lexicon!

But I think there is such scarcity of people who can flirt well, simply because their true worth is not appreciated. A slut and a desperate-to-be-laid guy, will always find each other... doesnt really matter who says what. And since the forces of demand and supply (read scarcity and abundance respectively) are so thoroughly skewed in one direction... such things as decent flirting as a leadup to a great hook-up, are unheard of.

Ah, but for the misery of not having enough decent people to flirt with...

Disclaimer: Yes, Iam a natural flirt but I value fidelity more. So this post is not about me whining about not "getting to flirt"... but just an observation on people in our country in general :)

An Important Update:
Rewind back to my 6th march post for the Blanknoise project... I hereby officially apologise for my outrageous behaviour. Actually a certain Anonymous has let me know that I was trying to act like I was caught in a Bollywood movie and that the women in general enjoy being teased.

Of course, my eyes have been opened by these new revelations which had not previously occured to me. I mean of course I love shitting my pants while playing Shahrukh Khan & I had no business trying to speak up for a girl who was actually enjoying the whole experience, just to live my Bollywood dream.

But being the hypocrite Iam, I did not thank the person in question... rather spoke to him in a manner which he interpreted as "RUDE". But thinking that most readers of the blog would have missed his remarkable insights since the post is dead.... I thought it was my duty to let my readers in on such profound observations.

Do drop in if you have time to spare, and thank Anonymous here for putting conceited idiots like me in their place!