Thursday, February 01, 2007


for good.

Friday, November 10, 2006

So, you hate hypocrites now... Do you?

Blah... Blah... Blah! Damn I've lost count the number of times I've heard this before. People proclaiming that they hate hypocrites. Alright. Alright. We get it. We all hate hypocrites. There now, happy? Shall we now go on with our lives?

Er... just one problem. Who's a hypocrite anyways? Ummm... ah, gotcha there, didnt I? Hypocrite is always someone or something that we are not. Isnt that right? We are always the holier than thou people. We can never bitch behind anyone's back now can we?

Oh no, no. We are just sharing things between friends. That's absolutely not the same as bitching. Bitching is hypocritical. And the similar ho-hum. I mean, every now and then how hard is it for some people to just wake up and realise how full of it they really are.


PS: No, this is not a rant. Just occurred to me how full of it, I really am. Thought this was a moment of epiphany that had to be shared.

PS #2: Ya... I know I had quit blogging and all. Life travels in circles you know. Feels good to be Freaky Chakra again! :)

Friday, July 07, 2006

A Farewell...

Well, guys inspite of my best efforts I've realised I cannot give this present blog the kind of attention I used to. Life in a B-school is simply too demanding for blogaholics like me. So rather than watching something that has been SO close to me, die a silent ignored death... I've decided to give it a decent and honourable farewell.

I've opened a new blog - "A perfect day for bananafish", where I can post little titbits and nuggets from time-to-time just to satisfy my blogging itches. Please do visit it, but in all probability there will not those long, (supposedly) funny Freaky-kind of posts. So everyone, thanks a lot for having read this blog, and thanks for all the fish!

This is the end of the journey before the war with the eskimos.

See on the front!

Monday, July 03, 2006

An ode to the morning yawn

Disclaimer: The following post is EXTREMELY lame, which came about due to a potent and heady combination of sleep-depravation and stupid transcreativity lectures!

Yawn, yawn -
O mighty wholesome morning yawn.
Chasing since nightfall
and following way after dawn.

You show us the way
to deal with another shitty day.
Boring lectures, obstinate pig-heads (etc) -
carrying us beyond them all the way.

A shaggy head and morning breath,
nasty as a pig's fragrant wealth.
Amidst the toxic swill of the piss-bowl,
you block the fumes and save our health.

Then a hot chic comes along
but she ran away because your breath is too strong.
O morning yawn, protector of my fidelity
I hope you stay with me today, tomorrow and for long

PS: If you feel the Freaky-Chakra standard has gone down, then feel blessed because I havent put up... "In the glory of the great onion fart I passed before bed". And I swear I actually wrote it :D

Saturday, July 01, 2006


... I found the perfect half-a-blade of grass. It was about half-an-inch long, green and smooth. I held it in my fingers and looked at it closely trying to imagine how best to enjoy it. Sitting on a grassy field, swinging tress, silence and a cool breeze.

Then I ate it.

It was tasteless, cold and completel placid. When I finally spat it out, I felt happy.

1. This was during a transcreativity theatre workshop we were having in the MICA field.
2. Yes I know Iam weird.
3. But I bet you'd never find a better piece of a half-a-blade of grass.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

From MICA, Freaky's packing tale

Firstly, I apologise to the poor souls who have the time and patience to read my blog for having left you all with a promise for a "final" post before I left Kolkata. Blame it on the lack of internet connectivity back home on the days just prior to my leaving and here at MICA on the days just after my arrival, that I've not been able to put up a decent post.

So excuse!

Right So now we can resume normal service. The only thing being that I dont have anything particular to write. That is sad you know, a MICAn saying that he's out of things to say. Damn!

And it is usual for me, on such occasions, to massage my narcissistic faculties and share some useless detail about my life. So today if you expected something new or creative just cuz Iam a MICAn now, hah! You're in for it pal. You're going to get nothing new or clever or witty or any such thing. Instead you'll just get a list of things that I forgot to pack on my way to MICA -
  • Notebooks - That's right, I did not have a single sheet of paper on me when I came here.
  • Pens
  • Soap dish
  • Soap (for washing clothes)
  • Shaving brush (though miraculously remembered the shaving cream)
  • Tie
  • Formal shirts (more than two)
  • Rope
  • Water-bottle (ya try drinking from a fountain ALL the time)
  • No music from my collection
  • No books from my collection
  • No collection of my creative writing.
  • No insect repellent (inspite of being warned a dozen times)
  • No waste basket
  • No cloth to keep for dusting purposes.

Damn it... Iam stopping now because Iam embarrased. Go screw!

Monday, June 19, 2006


... have been too busy to put up a decent post. But there will be one FINAL post before I leave Kolkata on Thursday, so do look out for that!

Have a nice day.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

And now...

Music Lovers... this is your clarion call. The World Music Day is upon us, and for the occasion the La Atelier Orchestra, conducted by the maestro Abrahim Majumdar himself, shall be lining up an evening of a truly spectacular musical experience. All the lovers of Western Classical music, Rabindrasangeet and the suchlike (in Kolkata) are hereby invited to be in audience on the 21st june @ St. Paul's Cathedral by 6:30 PM.

See you there!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Of drug-abuse, sleaze and gross societal ignorance

I had resisted any temptation from writing anything on the Mahajans all along. I mean it's bloody tempting. Just think about it, Uncle Mahajan pops bullets into Puppa Mahajan. Then little kiddo Mahajan a few days later decides to have one speedballs too many and ODs, while uncle Mahajan patronises kiddo Mahajan &... blah!

Too many Mahajans in there somewhere. Damn, screw them. This post is not about them. It's about something else. It's about how out of touch of reality everyone seems to be these days. The first time I noticed this was perhaps when the DPS-sex scandal first broke out. I mean there was such a hue and cry over it. The newschannels were all over it, suddenly schools were banning cellphones in the school-premises and parents were feeling uneasy about the "outings" their children were going out for. But mostly everyone dismissed it as an example of moral degeneration among the uber-rich bourgeoisie.

But hang on, did I miss something? I mean dont people know that hot-blooded adolescents in their late teens might have heard of such things as, I dont know - Physical intimacy? Let's face the facts, by the time most Indians (by Indians I primarily mean here the "educated in english medium schools" middle-class, which also behaves as the custodians of social morals & all things such) reach the age of 21, they've had some kind of a physical encounter.

Some are brazen about it, some candid & light-humoured about it... some deny it altogether. Even more so, the ones who've not had any such experience are usually that way not because they did not want to, it's usually because they were too scared or the right opportunity never came by. If you think about it like that, the DPS kids did not do anything really dramatic. I mean yes, I dont condone adolescent-intimacy... but I am practical enough to know there nothing much to be done about it. Teens are into experimentation and some of them are bound to get into shit like that.

But to create such a ruckus over it, frankly was a bit funny to me. I mean seriously grow up. If you want to see school kids "experimenting", take your eyes of the TV & look into your own backyard!

I had a similar feeling of deja vu when the whole kiddo Mahajan thingie popped on TV. I mean c'mon! He's the scion of a powerful political family. He has power, wealth and fame (especially after he lit his father's funeral pyre). What do you expect him to do when he's in a mood to relax and party... yoga and meditation? What's with the whole holier-than-thou halo that these people don?

Worse still people watch it on the news and shake their heads "ladka kharab ho gaya" (the boy is ruined) , in the safe & smug knowledge that their own kid would never do such a thing. Wake up! I mean do you know how easy it is to get hold of drugs? Nobody gives a shit when they declare India to be a major transit flash-point in the entire global drug-trade. But get one political kiddo to OD or one Fardeen Khan to be named n a drug scandal, and suddenly everyone's got an opinion on things.

I was in class 7 when boys around me first started experimenting with cigarettes. They were the more adventurous ones. By class 9, virtually everyone was doing it. If you were not doing it, then either you had to good in your studies or in sports. Because if you were like average in everything and didnt smoke or anything, you were just treated like scum. I personally know many idiots who just simply crumbled to such peer-pressure.

When I was growing up (Iam 21)... I didnt have cable tv till I was 9, surfed the net for the first time when I was 13, got a internet-enabled pc when I was 15, and didnt get a broadband till about a year ago. Think about it, the kids that are growing up now... TV, internet and the works - all served on a platter; they wont be as dumb as us. If we did smokes in class 7, think about the kind of stuff they'd be into by the time they are in class 10 (16 years).

Makes your mind boggle doesnt it?

But no, nobody will see the picture like it. People will keep watching Zee News doing a "sensational" story about a father who sacrificed his kids in a bid to become immortal or a woman who conspired with her lover to kill her husband. Throw in a few pregnancies, passion-crimes, hints of incest and wallah! You've got the nation hooked.

Hooked, until the next 'celebrity' scandal erupts on sex-sleaze or drug-abuse or some other such shit. Then they'd take a moment to go check on their kids... sleeping like darling little angels in their soft, smug beds; reassured... they'd come back and shake their heads at the TV!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Rakhi Sawant: She's finally made it! Yippie!

Let me first start by saying that this is one of the hardest posts I've done in terms of the amount of time & labour I've wasted in trying to come up with good production details (read: pics) for my patient readers. I mean inspite of my best efforts to get a "decent" (read: where parts of the female anatomy & underwear are not suggestively revealed) picture of Rakhi Sawant to post here to honour the post that is dedicated to her daring exploits here in Bollywood. The results that I did get however could not have been put up here without coming across as a sleaze post. But dont worry. If you are a Rakhi Sawant fan and have raging hormones you shall not be disappointed. Perhaps you'd like to see this, or this or if you're still not short on time & bandwidth... this.

Note: Mind you these are links from 3 different sites, among the countless ones I tried. If anyone out there can give me the link to a decent Rakhi Sawant pic (for definition read above), I'd be more than happy to put it up. If for nothing else than for the sheer novelty value that it possesses!

Anyways, let us proceed now to the actual point of this post even though you'd be forgiven to think that it was the search of a decent Rakhi Sawant picture. No dear reader, I smile at your innocence. This post is about something far more profound. This post is about chronicling the rise of Rakhi Sawant and her heroic saga of finally making it to Freaky Chakra's blog in the form of a full-fledged post after a number of near misses!

The first time I 'noticed' her was in this remix video where she played a hot, spectacled secretary who has a thing for her boss & shakes her er... upper strategic anatomical assets to a rather good measure. Although technically I didn't have a blog back then, but you can take my word for it that if I did have one, I would've spent exactly 7 seconds (which is roughly about the amount of time I can focus my attention on any one thing) thinking - "Man, she's hot maybe I should write about her."

I mean she was not as revolting as the other female who acquired a national celebrity status by just brandishing her underwear. Gosh, it was like suddenly everyone in India woke up & said in an unanimous voice - "Wow! A thong! Oh jolly, let us quickly divide ourselves into two camps & start debating about whether exposing India to a whole new line of women's underwear is a good or a bad thing."

Nah, this female was not like that. She seemed to be hot. But I guess somewhere at the end of those 7 seconds I would've realised that the only reason I found her hot was because I have a stupid kink for those box-frame-bespectacled-intellctual-librarian types. And maybe this girl was just another airhead who could not even sprout proper english to save her life (which is not quite far from the truth though, as I later found out). So there you go Rakhi, sorry... you almost made it on your first attempt itself, but not quite!

The Second time, she came close again was when I read somehwere that she was -
a) starring in a movie called - "Hot Money" (no kidding! Talk about creative genius!)
b) it was to be directed/produced by her brother. (yes, you read it right!)
c) And... the USP of the film was that she was going to shake her upper strategic anatomical assets in a specially designed 'top' made from nothing else but 2000, Re 1 coins!

Wow! This had to be too good to be true. But the movie ran into trouble with the censor board (lousy idiots), and I thought that doing a post on the same would mean kind of resorting to "incest-induced-interest" in the blogosphere, one of the only remaining bastians of non-incestuous release for net-prowling Indians! So, pass!

The Third time, it was a report on a gossip column somewhere (yes, Iam sick & I read cheesy gossip columns for fun) that she stripped at some private party of some random powerful guy in Dubai or some other such Allah-land country. Damn this girl doesnt give up now, does she? Well Rakhi you've got to do better than that to be featured on Freaky's blog. Clue: try not to do what every other Bollywood starlet worth her bra-straps has been rumoured to do every sunday!

Then Angel brought to my notice a certain "dance-show" where she'd been hauled up for indecent exposure in public or some other such sissy-hypocritic-moral reason. So, trying to be fourth-time lucky, eh? Well not good enough even though she went on national television in a studio interview saying - "yeh sab to karna parta hai role ke liye...." (All this has to be done for roles). Casting-couch revelations are not as much fun anymore ever since Shakti Uncle's trip on viagra (damn, I missed it altogether!) and "item-girls" being pulled up for indecent exposure is an occupational hazard, not blogworthy material for Freaky's page. To be here... you need to do something extra special.

Think Kajol, Rakhi... Think Karan Johar... Think Arjun Singh and the suchlike! Man, I was just beginning to give up on this girl here. Then, bang! I saw the news today & smiled.

Rakhi Sawant had arrived! On her Fifth try...

I mean to attend Mika's birthday party is in itself a national humiliation from which a few have ever come out untainted. Mika (pronounced meek-a), for the ones who do not know him, has a claim to fame as being Daler-who-Mehndi's younger brother and be a namesake (of sorts) to a B-school of considerable repute of which Freaky will soon be a part of. Oh, and he also sings a few songs.

Anyway, back to Rakhi... she not only attended his party, she called him - "the sher of Punjab" (tiger of Punjab), threw her arms around him and gave him a peck on the cheek... all this on national television! Damn was this girl ever desperate or what? Well, poor Mika decided to check her mouth for bad-breath as he did not want reporters to run away after getting a whiff her stench as she was just starting to say nice things about him. I mean he was kinda enthusiastic to do so too since nobody ever says anything nice about him. I can understand his being keen to take precautions.

Anyways, his gesture of goodwill concerning her dental hygiene was not well appreciated and he was promptly charged with sexual abuse! DAMN! Imagine admitting sexual abuse from Mika! Oh the horror...

But Rakhi was not done yet. Leaving no stone unturned, she even had her "loving" brother endure a broken nose so that the blood-shood would give her extra mileage to be on Freaky's blog! God, having since endured her "tragic story" for 4 hours on the cutting-edge coverage of our great and responsible news-media channels... I finally decided to give her, her due spot!

So, here's to Rakhi... on her 1st entry on Freaky's blog, proving to the world for once and for all that you can do great things in life even if you have a shitty, hopeless name like rakhi to live with.

Pity I couldnt post her picture. My offer to do so as soon as someone provides me a link, still stands!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Had nothing to write...

... decided to come up with a random observations from my day, today.

# Woke up exactly at noon, a feat which inspite of coming really close on many occasions, I've never actually managed to hit bang on before. However the credibility of the same is slightly dubious since the 6 different clocks in my house show a different time each.

# Noticed that the Kurkure-sticks have become quite thin as compared to when they first came out.

# Heard a maroo friend, a nice good fellow otherwise, speaking to his cousin sister. God, why do they have such repressed sexual frustrations that it becomes extremely explicit that they are actually shamelessly flirting with each other in the name of "teasing" each other.

Didn't argue with him too much, though kinda felt weird about it for a rather long time.

# Jason, a tall stud of a guy who used to work at Pizza Hut (camac street), wasn't there anymore. Not that Iam into noticing guys, but he was quite handsome by the standards of the average Indian male... besides Angel's drooling wasn't too hard to notice. Anyways he's gone... felt strange, I mean he'd been there ever since I started going to Pizza Hut.

# Realised that REM have some the most funky names for their songs!

# Suddenly found all the Star channels missing from TV, the whole cable vs channels war here is just getting on my nerves now!

# Also saw what The Girl who sold the Universe looks like today. Have always wondered what 17-year olds with such witty motor-mouths look like.

# Called up MICA, they asked me to postpone my arrival from the 2oth to 24th. Now I wonder wherefrom shall I get the damn tickets in time. (clue: me is poor, me cant take a flight)

# Couldnt figure out what the eternal fascination of Indians with incest is. 75% of the stories posted by Indians on Literotica are on incest. We are one hell of a frustrated country!

# Lenovo 3000 C series - 0761D9A... most likely to be my new laptop. Yippie!

# Shristi left town today. A nice, friendly girl. Wanted to see Piku & her today at college... but had a fight with Angel & everything got messed up.

# Ma's agreed to buy me a new guitar. Let's see most likely date for it would be day after tomorrow. After which the present one (with cracks big enough to make cockraoches fear for their modesty) would be chucked straight into the garbage bin!

# Also saw today that a Che Guevera film festival is coming up at Seagull. Let's see, might turn up there to catch a screening of the Motorcycle Diaries.

In essence, I realise I could've done a proper post on any of these things (including the many which I havent up here), but somehow am not quite feeling that Iam up for it.

Feeling all sober & numb!

Monday, June 05, 2006

From Bihar: pleasantly surprised!

Patwatoli, a small village in Bihar has sent 48 students to the IITs in the last 14 years, with four getting in this year itself! A little known fact is that Bihar produces the most number of IAS officers in this country. For a land that is more popular for ruffians, kidnappings, Laloo & general chaos... it's not really a bad feat. But coming back to this little dalit village, efforts of a whole community are being geared to the task of churning out top-notch engineers. The seniors try and help out the prospective students and the latter on their part keep working harder and harder oblivious to obstacles like frequent power-cuts and suchlike.

Was really heartening to know that stuff like this keeps happening in this country, away from the eyes of people & politicians. Felt really excited and really happy after a long time!

Read the story here at CNN-IBN

PS: Would also like to appreciate the good work done by CNN-IBN to bring stories like this to the forefront rather than those "sensational wife cheating on husband"-passion crimes flashed by the likes of Zee News and Star News, etc!